Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"Couples Who Pray" Review

"Couples Who Pray" by Squire Rushnell & Louise DuArt was sent to me by Thomas Nelson Publishers through their Booksneeze Blogger Review Program.
When I got this book to review, my husband and I were very excited.  We both wanted to start praying more, and specifically start praying together more.  Shortly after we discussed doing so, we got "Couples Who Pray" and another book about praying (to be reviewed soon) in the mail.  We were very excited to learn how best to pray with one another, so we read "Couples Who Pray" together each night.  Unfortunately, this book doesn’t tell you.
The book starts with the authors giving a summary of what you will learn in the rest of the book.  We were concerned that it sounded like an infomercial.  They talked about all of the “famous” couples that participated in the 40 Day Prayer Challenge and how it benefitted their marriages.  Then, the rest of the chapter was spent explaining how if you pray together for 40 days, at least 5 minutes a day, then your marriage will be happier, your marital intimacy will improve, communication will improve, and your life in general will improve.
On the surface, those are all good things.  But, those things should not be the goal of praying.  Prayer is about communing with God.  It is about seeking His face, learning His will, praising His name, and humbly asking for His guidance and wisdom and help.  Prayer isn’t about rubbing some verbal lamp and having God do his genie thing and grant your wishes.  But, this was just the first chapter.  Perhaps we are just being too cynical.  We need to give this a chance.
It didn’t get any better.  The first scripture verse mentioned in the book didn’t occur until page 36, and it wasn’t even part of the text.  It was a clipart-type picture thrown on the page seemingly to increase the page count.  It seems to me that if you are writing a book about talking to God, you might want to include some things that He has to say about it.  Now, in the book's defense, there is a list of scripture verses in one of the appendices.  However, this is mainly given as a list of verses to discuss and pray about, nothing specific to why and how we should be praying.
Despite the lack of what God has to say about prayer in this book, there were plenty of things mentioned that others had to say about it.  The personal testimonies in this book are plentiful, just not helpful to us.  Each one sounded the same.  “Our marriage was falling apart, we decided to pray together each night, and our lives are great now.”  And they all are having wonderful intimacy (sex) as a result.  They made sure to mention that a lot.  A lot.

I also have to point out the unsettling mindset that this book has towards tithing. Here is a direct quote from the book: 

"You may know what tithing is, but the question is: what's in it for you?... the concept of tithing isn't just about money. And it's not about other people. It's about you, and what happens to you when you give to others."

The book does go on to say that tithing is about giving as an act of obedience to God. But the whole feeling of that section was one of that if you tithe, God will give you even more money back. While I believe God will take care of those who trust in Him, I also know from personal experience that this does not always mean financially.

Any book that claims to be based on prayer and the Bible is getting off on the wrong track when it has you ask the question, "What's in it for you?" Sounds like Prosperity Gospel to me.
In addition to not actually helping us figure out how to pray, this book was difficult to read.  The chapters are broken into sections that are typically two to four paragraphs long.  Each section seems to jump to another topic with no transition or even relevance to what was being said in the previous section.
My husband and I were very disappointed in this book.  We know that praying together is very important to our marriage and our Christian walks.  We also know that praying together can do everything that this book claims it can do.  But, that isn’t the point of praying.  We want to be in the presence of our Lord, humbling ourselves in His majesty.  We don’t want to be kids shouting “Trick-or-Treat” and hoping we get the good candy bars.  If you want to pray with your spouse, I highly encourage you to do so.  However, you will get more use out of the title of this book than you will from actually reading it. 
This is a first for Shoopette’s Book Reviews. I will give "Couples Who Pray" my lowest rating…1 bookworm.



Disclosure of Material Connection:  I received this book free from the Thomas Nelson Publishers through their Booksneeze Blogger review program. I was not required to write a positive review (obviously). The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this is accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

 

Update:  Has anyone else read this book? What did you think? Please don't feel I will think less of you if you liked it! This book just wasn't for us.

5 comments:

  1. Wow. What a disappointment. But, the desire you and your husband have of praying together is a wonderful step for the two of you. I don't think you need to worry about how to do it. Just do it. :) Maybe you'll be the ones to write the book!

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  2. Your book review is a window into your hearts for the Lord- reverent and full of praise. I read the first several pages of the book and felt the same way you do- "if you pray, you will experience change in this way and that!"

    The desire may be to experience these things, but the goal is Jesus. Loving Him and communing with Him, not because of what's on His table, but because we can recline with HIm at His table.



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  3. Your book review is a window into your hearts for the Lord- reverent and full of praise. I read the first several pages of the book and felt the same way you do- "if you pray, you will experience change in this way and that!"

    The desire may be to experience these things, but the goal is Jesus. Loving Him and communing with Him, not because of what's on His table, but because we can recline with HIm at His table.



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    Replies
    1. One other comment- the section about tithing was astonishing, "what's in it for me?" The authors view tithing as an investment. It's upsetting to read.

      Tithing is an act of worship- yes, we can never out give God, He's already given us His Son! What a joy it is to give unto The Lord, when we do so our only motive should be to give Him our hearts.

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